The Burden of Command - Larry Winget
Earl Breon 0:09
Alright everyone, welcome to the burden command podcast on this episode I have have a really special guest as somebody I've listened to a lot to all of his various projects. I like what he has to say I like the way he has to say it. He's written several books, what's wrong with damn near everything and grow a pair or a couple of my favorites. He's done some podcasts of his own grow up here, which doesn't have any new episode for a while, but it's still available on iTunes. And then the real man podcast which is still in production. You probably seen him on national media. He does a lot of national media interviews. Primarily, it seems lately fox and friends. He has a pitbull of personal development. Mr. Larry Winget. Larry, thanks for joining us today.
Larry Winget 0:58
Oh, you bet. Happy to be here. By the way, the girl power podcast. I killed that one off. I'm just focusing now on the real man podcast.
Earl Breon 1:07
Yeah, yeah, no, I like that. And, you know, like I said, you know, the girl pair, it's still on iTunes. I don't know if you're aware that but you'll find it. So some good content there. So, um, So to get started, I'm ask you the question, I asked everybody to start with the phrase burden of command. What does it mean to you learn?
Larry Winget 1:29
You know, my initial response to that is a chuckle.
I bet you don't get that very often.
Earl Breon 1:37
Not not too often.
Larry Winget 1:39
It's a chuckle because I believe that we live in a society right now, that doesn't think that command, which in most people's minds, I believe these days, relates to power and having power over others, they don't see that as a burden. They look at it two ways that it's either a real cool thing that they get to be powerful over others, or they immediately go to a victim standpoint, that other people have power over me. But I don't think they see it so much anymore as a burden of anybody who's ever run their own company or been a leader of any
type. Realize that
anytime you are in charge, there is a huge burden of responsibility that comes with that. And you know, the pinnacle of personal development is, is the trademarked moniker that I've had for a long time, but it's around the one central theme of personal responsibility, the thing we're most lacking in society these days. But I think that most people would see command is having are being much of a burden.
Earl Breon 2:54
You know, and sadly, you're right. You know, I've gotten quite a few, quite a few responses on now in some of you like you, like you said, I don't really see it as a burden. But then they always come back to the our word responsibility. And it's kind of the same thing, right? burden is a responsibility that you take on that you carry.
Larry Winget 3:12
Well, burden has such a negative connotation to it right now, you could also talk about the privilege of command, that the saddest thing right now, and it's part of what I talked about in the book, what's wrong with damn near anything, is this victimhood mentality that I think comes out of the entitlement mentality, which I think is really dangerous in society right now, where we are confused by this whole someone else being in charge of anything? Yeah, I got into it with a bunch of folks just this last week, who had posted the most ridiculously stupid picture on LinkedIn, which I think is the dumbest social media platform out there. I've never had more views than I have on LinkedIn are seen a site more abused than LinkedIn seems to me, like the only reason people want to connect on LinkedIn is to instantly spam your inbox with something they want to sell you without having qualified you at all right. But that's an aside. But this ridiculously stupid picture that they posted, was of a guy, a stick figure holding somebody by their feet and sort of swinging them. And he had the label of boss. And the other one was of a stick figure named leader, with patting this guy on the back. And it said, bosses take advantage while leaders inspire. And I thought, what a damn disservice to good bosses. You know, it, bosses are necessary in our society, not everybody wants to be laid, some people need a manager to say, this is what you're supposed to do. This is how you do it. I'm here to make sure it gets done. So the customer is served well, so we all get paid. No. bosses are necessary to any project. They're necessary in, in business, for sure. But they're also necessary for some people who aren't looking to be inspired and creative. And this main went on to talk about how leadership is creative. And bosses don't require any creativity, you know, your sack and groceries at a grocery store. I'm not looking for creativity. I want the cans on the bottom of the bread on the top. And that's proven to be a pretty good recipe right there. Don't get creative with that. Okay, right. Just do it and be nice while you're doing it.
Earl Breon 5:54
Yeah, exactly. And it's meant so much there. So the first, you know, like what you said about you the responsibility piece, and it reminds me it's a, it's a quote I say a lot about it's from Epictetus. And he says, men are disturbed not by things, but the view of which they take of them. And that was one of the core principles. I'm not sure if you if you studied the, the POW from the Hanoi Hilton very much. But one of the phenomenal things about those gentlemen is, so the general PTSD rate from the Vietnam War was about 40%. And everybody expected that the POW is we're going to have a much higher rate, but they're down in the like low three to 4%. And everyone you talked to, I had Colonel Lee Ellis on a few episodes ago, but every one of those that you talk to you, they bring it back to the personal responsibility, like we had to take personal responsibility for our actions, and the actions of the folks around us to get each other through without breaking down. If we let ourselves blame our predicament, anything and everything else, it would have ruined us mentally, and we probably would have had near 100% PTSD rate. So I really like that. Yeah. And you know, and so it's funny because I know You talk a lot about customer service and how that's very important. And you were talking about the the groceries. You know, I had an incident. I live in Indiana, and every time we have a snowstorm, that's more than a few inches, we have the the run on milk, bread and eggs. And I was in the store. And there was a young man had just got done with one of your podcast episode you were talking about. I think it was a garage door being installed. And the person was was showed up later didn't show up at all. Yeah. And it was ringing in my ears and this guy. They called for all help up front. They needed baggers. And this kid he just like, Huff's and was acting annoyed, and I looked him up it. I looked at him straight in the face. I said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shop here and give you a job. And he looked at me He's like, What do you mean? Like, well, you're obviously annoyed by the fact that shoppers are here where the reason you have a job? Would you like me to shop someone else? And my wife's like, you've been listening to Larry Winget guy waiting
Larry Winget 8:23
for you then listen to that, Larry, when did I get that a lot that Larry Winget guy.
Earl Breon 8:29
But so, you know, and all of your work. I mean, like said you, you've had some TV shows, you've written a bunch of books, you know, that personal responsibility is is a big thing throughout your career, it seems. What got you there?
Larry Winget 8:44
Oh, you know, that's the main thing pretty much of all that I do. I have this overriding belief. And it's the thing that's driven six New York Times Wall Street Journal bestsellers, and my own TV show and 30 years stand on stages speaking for over 400 of the Fortune 500 companies. Speaking all over the world being translated into over 20 languages, sold a couple of million bucks. And all of that comes down to the very simple idea, your life's your own damn fault. And blog get a lot of pushback on that. And people want to convince me No, no, it's not something happened to me. And I never argue with anybody about that. I just say, okay, so something horrible happened to you that you had nothing to do with, I'm not going to argue that's what happened, what you do about it still your own fault. And that's what it's always going to come down to, I believe that your thoughts, your words and your actions, cause whatever it is you're going through, I can't think of an occurrence where maybe that isn't the case, but a lot of people have. And so if something bad happens to you, first of all, your job is to say, Did I do something to cause that? You know, it's like the oldest joke in the world guy goes in, the doctor says, Hey, doctor, and hurts when I do that, the doctor says, then don't do that. So if you're doing something that hurts, you stop doing it. Then the second thing is, you know, once you've looked at yourself and taking responsibility for your own thoughts, words and actions, you say, Okay, I really didn't cause this, but what am I going to do about it? That is always up to you. You know, it's just like your POW story, they had to make the decision, that was a personal decision,
that they would act
in a certain way, react in a certain way respond in a certain way to their situation predicament and their treatment. That was a personal choice of their, how they responded. And that's what we have to remember. First of all, you say, what did I do that could possibly have caused it? Take responsibility for it? Now, what do I do in my response or reaction to this, take responsibility for that? And then do something? It's none of this stuff's all that hard.
Earl Breon 11:17
No, it's really not. And that's, you know, that's another thing of when I'm doing talks, or whatever. So going back to something you said earlier on, you know, in the Marines, we had a saying that team succeed, leaders fail. And we put this thing together, you know, kind of how you said it with the leadership and management piece, right. And the way we were taught is, you know, essentially, unit you, as you said, you need both you need leaders and managers, the question shouldn't be, what's the difference? The question should be, how do you work both angles together at the right time for the right purpose. And the idea behind team succeed, leaders fail was just that, if you've done everything you can, as a leader, your team is going to succeed. If you have failed in any one of those aspects, either. You failed to put the right person on the right task, you failed to lay out the proper guidelines, you failed to manage things when you need to manage you felt the lead need to lead. Well, it's going to hit the fan and yes, everything's gonna fail, but it's your fault. The team will succeed, you will fail.
Larry Winget 12:24
That's absolutely right. And a good leader can be a good manager and all good manager should still be good leaders. But you got to have both.
Earl Breon 12:35
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. So. So let's talk about this book. The what's wrong with damn near everything? I think we kind of hit on it a little bit. But for for our listeners who may not for whatever reason be indoctrinated into the world of Winget. What is wrong with damn near everything?
Larry Winget 12:58
You know, I had written six they are done Wall Street Journal bestseller is about Okay, if you got kids that are a mess, and I wrote a book called your kids your own fault. It was a pretty much a how to book on parenting to raise productive responsible adults. And I did the same thing around a best selling money book called you broke, because you want to be you can tell from the themes of those books in the titles, it's all about personal responsibility. So I'd written the six bucks telling folks if this is your situation, go do these things. And then after selling a couple of million bucks, I realized not very many people were doing what I suggested they do, they were still in the mess they were in, you know, it's no, there is no shortage of people telling you what you should do to fix your issue. So if that's the case, and it is that there's lots of information out there about what you could do to do things differently and have better results in your life, why aren't people doing and what I came to realize is that you can can't get a person, you can't get a bad employee to do a good job for very long, you can threaten them with I'm going to fire you or you can tease him with the it's the carrot and a stick thing, or I'll give you a promotion or raise if you do it. But a bad employee, a bad person is going to be a bad employee, because that's the kind of person they are. And the same way, in all areas of life, what we've tried to do is say if you'll just do these things, your results will change will not if you're not going to do those things. And the people who don't do the right thing. They're not good people. So what I realized, and that's why I wrote what's wrong with damn near everything. We're trying to give people good things to do understanding, they're not going to do them, because they're not good people, they lack the core values. So the subtitle of what's wrong with them there everything is the collapse of core values, and how its displayed drawing us. So I believe that a person who is honest and has integrity and is kindness, is willing to do the right thing, even when it's the hard thing, or the expensive thing or whatever. That's the right thing, that people who have core values eventually figure out, even without our help, they need some guidance sometime. But they will do the right thing, but cos they're good people and are constantly looking to do the right thing. Bad people, no matter what you tell them to do aren't going to do it for very long, because they're bad people, we need to focus more on the core values that people have.
Earl Breon 15:43
I couldn't agree more. There's a mystery if you've read Jordan Peterson's book, eight simple rules for life. But I think he nails it. You know, and what you just said there? Like, are you sure you weren't a marine at some point in your life?
Larry Winget 16:00
You know, I was just raised by good mamas. And, you know, let me tell you what I think we give credit. And I give the military all the credit. And we're all not come from a family where everybody was in the military, and my son was in the military, my dad and grandpa and all that sort of stuff. But we want to give credit to, let's say the military and say you must have been in the military. You remember when Mamas and daddies taught this. And Mamas and daddies are responsible for teaching their kids core values. And I was very fortunate to have a mom and daddy that it was about being a good person above everything else. You know, it was telling the truth, it was having integrity, which means done the right thing, even when nobody's ever going to know, it was about when you give you words, keep your word no matter what it was about being kind, being grateful.
And all that that's,
those are the core values that I was raised with. And that's where I think we slipped away. People don't think anything in the world about showing up light, the lights a lack of respect for for the person, being light is the lack of respect in business, for your boss, and for the money and for the customer, the co workers. being late is insulting to your friends, it shows you matter more than they do or you matter what you're doing at the time matters more than the fact that you gave your word. But most people think, Hey, I was just a little bit late. You know, it's fashionably late. In other words, it's fashionably disrespectful, because that's what it means. And so there are lots of examples on that where, you know, we just slipped on those core values.
Earl Breon 17:48
You know, again, you know, when I'm telling my story people ask, you know, and I start with, well, you know, my mom and dad split when I was just a few months old, haven't seen my dad, but a handful of times in my 40 years on this planet, and my mom has struggled with various drug issues throughout her entire life. I get all That's terrible. No, that was one of the best things that happened to me, because I end up being raised by my grandfather, who was World War Two veteran, grew up, you know, poor country boy. And he instilled every one of those things that you're talking about in me, he taught me how to how to be a man, what that meant. And the responsibilities of being shoot. When I was 10 years old, I had to push Mo, push Mo, three acres, you make a 10 year old push mow three acres today and see how many law enforcement agencies are knocking on your door, right?
Larry Winget 18:40
Yeah, like when they called the the Child Services on the guy who made his kid walk a half mile to school. Really. That's a true story. It's Child Services, because it was raining outside that that was the kids punishment. It was raining and he made him walk to school in the rain. Oh, God, I was school every night, it was a lot more than a half mile. And it didn't matter what the weather was I had gets go. But you know, we can all play this. This is how I grew up. And this is what about your story. And I'm glad that you put it like that. You know, I've discovered nobody can pour me more than the next guy. You know, I can stand up and say, here's my sad story. And then immediately somebody says, Well, let me tell you my sad story. We can sit around and poor me and sad story ourselves into oblivion, everybody's got a worse story than the next guy does. Bottom line is shit happens to all of us. You know, suck it up, Buttercup. You know, you don't get to change what happened to you in the past, the only thing you have any impact on is the way you're going to live your present. I don't even give a damn about the future. Everybody says just focus on the future. No, focus on right this instant. What can I do right this instant? You know, in the book what that we're talking about here? What's wrong with damn near everything I was doing an interview on a Brian kill me show. And he says, Larry, you paint this picture of where we are in society and in business and in government and in school systems and, and in our homes and so forth. How do we change the world with this is how it is. And I said we don't. And he said that's not a very optimistic approach. I said, I'm sorry, we can't fix the world. We can't fix society, we can't fix our businesses, the best we can possibly do is fix ourselves right this minute. That's all I can do. I can have some impact on what I say what I think and what I do right now. I can't make any promises. 10 minutes from now, I can't guarantee what how anybody else is going to react, what they're going to say what they're going to do, I got nothing, I can't fix the world world doesn't want to be fixed. Anyway, when the world wants to be fixed, it will be as a result of enough individuals doing just what I said, you got a whole lot of folks that say, right, this minute, I'm going to think at the end, and behave in such a way that it is true to my core values of honesty, integrity, being a good person treating folks, right? You do that? I do that. enough people do that. And that's when the world starts to change a little bit. But we made our focus the world and somehow that's an excuse for our own bad behavior. It's our own bad behavior that caused the world to be that way in the first place.
Earl Breon 21:28
Yes, and you know, the, so when we're recording this last week was the 50th anniversary of the moon landing and, and that Eugene Korean's gets a lot of credit, rightfully so. But everyone's focused on Apollo 13, which was a great time for him. But everybody forgets Apollo one, when we lost white Chaffee and Grissom on the launch pad. And the story that I love to tell about that is how he handled that situation. You know, there was an investigation as a government level, we lost three high valued astronauts. But before anybody had a chance to gather any evidence or anything like that he and his team together, he says, look, it was our fault. I don't care what the committee says it was our fault. We didn't do these things. We didn't do this thing. We didn't do that thing. We will be better. And he took complete 100% ownership. And he gave him corrective action told him what to do going forward what the expectations were going to be. And he fixed it, you know, they went off relatively without a hitch from that point forward. And everybody knew at that point, when you see something screwed up, you better raise your hand and say, we got to stop. You know, he pretty much gave everybody Kill Command power from that point. If you see something that's going to be dangerous, you better stand up and say stop. And it's, it's the response part. We keep coming back to this theme, right? The response part, like you said, If everybody worried about themselves instead of complaining about what their boss is doing, what their boss needs improved, to be a better leader, what do you need to do to be a better leader? That's how you fix the world one person at a time. You're never like you said, you're never going to get everybody collectively to say, Hey, we all need to fix it right now. So I love that. Yeah, yeah, like I said, you know, full full disclosure to everybody here I'm kind of a Larry Winget fanboy from from jump like, I like your attitude. I like the way you put it like the no bullshit. No sugarcoating delivery. And so I think the world needs a lot more Larry Winget. So Well, sir, we're coming up on that, that magic time frame here, we're hitting about 24 minutes or so. I always like to start working towards a close out with this. This last question here. Is there anything that you and I haven't discussed that you think we should hit on? Before we close out?
Larry Winget 23:51
You know, the most popular question I get it, I do a lot of podcasts I do. A lot of interviews have spoken all over the world is Larry bottom line, what's it take to be more successful? Here's what I always tell people. Bottom line, get three sheets of paper, just three sheets of paper and a pen. On the first sheet of paper write down where you are in every area of your life. I mean, every every way your relationships, your health, how you're doing on your job, your money, you pick it write down a full assessment of your life. Now the second sheet of paper, write down how you want it to be in each one of those areas, this is how it is. And then this is how I want it to be. And then on the third sheet of paper, and this is the most important write down what you're going to give up to get from where you are to where you want to be. And that's where we run into problems. We've got all these motivational bozos out there telling folks that can have it all folks can have it all you're going to have to choose, you're going to have to give something up I believe I was the very first personal development person in the business that said success is based on sacrifice. Because we are not a society that is interested in sacrifice or giving up anything. Do you have to understand you you don't get successful, you give up what's keeping you from being successful. You don't even get skinny, you give up what's making you fat, you don't get rich, you give up what's making you broke, you don't get happy, you give up what's making you unhappy. So all true success comes from giving up from sacrifice from doing away with certain things. And then success is what you're left with after you've done that. And so I would encourage people listening to us here to to take those three sheets of paper figuring out where they are figuring out where they want to be and figure out where they're what they're going to give up to get from where they are to where they want to be.
Earl Breon 25:39
Ya know that that's powerful stuff. And, and for anybody listening, you'll make sure you go in. I do transcripts for all my shows. So those three sheets will be in the the transcripts there and I'll try to highlight highlight those in the show notes. Look, Larry, thanks for being with us. I really really appreciate your time. Hope fully exposed new people to the world of Winget there. We had some of your friends on here already Mr. Joe Calloway, Jim Bouchard. Think, you know, dove Baron. Got some more folks coming up. So I really appreciate your time. And for the listeners, look if you have any questions for me. If you have any questions you want me to get to Larry, burden email@example.com just hit me up there. That's burden
Unknown Speaker 26:29
Earl Breon 26:32
This show will be coming out in a few weeks from the time that we've recorded so some of these things might be a little outdated, but we'll try to reference them there. I'll have links to Larry's books Larry's website, Leary social media accounts and I highly, highly encourage that you make Larry Winget part of your personal development journey whatever shape or form that's taken right now. So Larry, again, thank you for your time. Really appreciate it.
Larry Winget 26:58
Glad to be here. Appreciate.
Earl Breon 27:00
Alright listeners, and we'll talk to you again in the next episode.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai